In the wise words of Avenue Q, I keep selling my possessions on Ebay. I delight in writing the listing details. I mock the standard procedure and infiltrate it with comedy. In light of this I thought I would let you all in on such scrawlings. Of course, if you fancy a pair of sandals, do let me know.
Black and cork wedge sandals size 4
What?
Size 4 wedge sandals with a buckle strap fastening.
Have they been worn?
A couple of times indoors, not outside. Served as a great reminder why I am rubbish at wearing heels. I walk like a camel.? As such they are in near perfect condition aside from a random slightly dark mark at the front of one of the shoes, presumably from cuddling up to another pair of equally unworn heels in my wardrobe. I only noticed it today when I was taking photos. Otherwise, the shoes have no wear or tear. For some reason I am unable to include additional photos in the listing, but I have pictures of every aspect of the shoes – just email me via the ‘ask a question’ function and they’re all yours.
Why are you selling them?
If the makers of this shoe could see how appaulingly I walk in them, they would surely have me assassinated.
FAQ
Q: Were you inspired to buy these through seeing them worn by that girl out of Kyle XY?
A: Yes. Clearly, she is not me.
Q: Will you ship overseas?
A: Only if you ask nicely. The p&p cost will go up, so don’t pay straight away as I’ll only ask you for more money. Email me first, tell me your address, then I’l let you know how much it is.
Q: Do you accept returns?
A: No. I am as honest as possible on this thing, so you should be aware of what you’re buying in the first place. If you don’t want it, don’t bid! If you’re a reasonable human being with an ounce of common sense, I look forward to doing business with you.
Q: Is your sofa from Ikea?
A: Yes. Yes it is.
If you have any other questions, ask me. I don’t bite. Except on Mondays.