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  1. Circus Hilarious

    April 11, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    To celebrate the Easter weekend just gone, I did a bunk* off work and went to see Circus Hilarious under the advice of a friend of mine. The intention was to go and watch some of their slapstick routines to help with ideas for the upcoming pantomimes. As was somewhat expected, Catford’s Broadway theatre was somewhat thin on the ground audience-wise. It’s an outdated premise, the circus. It can’t still be that funny, can it? Hell yes. It followed the golden rules of live entertainment performance;

    – Something for the little ones; half the audience were under 8s and they were totally captivated by the whole thing. Literally, sitting on the edge of their seats to get just slightly closer to the stage. Mesmorised. Plus the whole thing about the stooge doing all the naughty things that children aren’t allowed to do, like call out, throw things, silly words and names.
    – Something for the mums; I have to say, Danny Adams (the stooge) is certainly very kind on the eye. Not to mention his brother, Johnny Knox (I think).
    – Something for the dads; the four Circus Hilarious dancers gradually wore more and more clothing as the show went on. I would say that four leggy blondes wearing body stockings and bikins to open the show certainly adds glamour, if not the glitz.
    – Audience participation; from getting people on to the stage to throwing things at them from it, everyone joined in.
    – Personable; Clive Webb and Danny Adams signed autographs for the kids after the show and were happy to spend a minute with everyone there. A superfan had come to see them – a grown woman told them ‘I’ve seen you like, fifteen times or summet’, although I was a little off put that all this was said without looking up from her mobile from which she was texting at the time. It does annoy me a little (and this goes for all my interests) when fans feel that their idols owe them something for turning up. Surely the point is to have that moment with the person you’ve gone to see? Or perhaps modern life continues to dictate that the world is soon to be seen through the eyes of a cameraphone? Sorry, I went off for a little rant there.

    But it was so damned funny. Every other second was some gag or another, and all so slick. Magic tricks that I just do not know the logic or workings of. Slapstick routines where the slapstick wasn’t even the highlight. Naughty jokes to fly over the heads of babes and into the ears of those paying for the tickets. Cartoon-like explosions and costumes. I’m not giving away anything they did – I would love to see them again and urge you to do the same.

    Now the campaign to get them on Twitter. Hmm…

    *I took a day’s leave. But saying I took a bunk makes me look cool. It does. Just ask Fonzie.


  2. The earth says hello!

    March 21, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    It feels a little bit like Spring is actually here today. It’s odd – there’s a smell in the air of things growing.

    To celebrate this, some teeny tiny daffodils have sprouted up in the window box outside the kitchen. They have a certain ‘Alice in Wonderland angst’ about them. I expect them to sniff me as I go past in the morning…


  3. Puntastic

    March 18, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    Regarding puns, none can beat the one I saw in today’s Metro. Sadly, the online story is missing this top journalistic treat.

    The premise: surfer surfs with Alpaca.
    The gold: “You bring a wetsuit, Alpaca surfboard”.

    Absolute genius.


  4. What?

    March 17, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    Yeah yeah, I know. Sleepy. Not blogging. Will get back to it soon.


  5. Never a day to miss-was

    February 28, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    As many of you know, I am a big fan of silly and slapstick humour. I also treasure the old Saturday morning kids tv programmes, meaning I am still proud of my days on Dick and Dom In Da Bungalow and also explains why I am a moderator on the TiswasOnline forums.
    As part of this, not only am I the Phantom Flan Flinger* at the Tiswas theme nights, but on occasion the moderators all catch up for a bevvy round the corner from the now derelict ATV Centre where Tiswas was originally filmed. Yesterday’s was my first meetup with some of the mods, and also doubley special as surprise guests were in attendance. The original Phantom Flan Flinger, Benny Mills, and his daughter Karen who played the baby Flan Flinger were absolutely lovely. While the boys all got a pie from the Phantom at the end of the day, I got a cuddle which suits me just fine – technically, in flan flinging terms, he’s my grandad.
    So today’s somewhat long winded photo of the day reveals the Flan Flinger’s identity. While he attacks Matt.

    *Now you know my secret identity, you will have to be killed. The ninjas are on the way.


  6. Costumes: Television

    February 22, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    One of the widest themes around – trust me! I will be starting small with this post and adding to it as we go, or rather, as I remember. Do add your own ideas! And remember, we already have the Kids TV section so no talk of Rainbow or Fraggle Rock here.

    Ashes to Ashes – Gene Hunt, Alex Drake
    Doctor Who
    – any of the Doctors, Ace, Rose, Martha, Cyberman, Dalek, Captain Jack
    Family GuyPeter, Lois, Chris, Meg, Stewie, Brian, Quagmire, Cleveland and all the rest
    FireflyCaptain Mal, Zoe, Wash, Inara, Jayne, Kaylee, Simon, River, Shepherd
    FuturamaFry, Leela, Bender, Hermes, Dr Zoidberg, the Professor, Amy, Zapp Branigan
    Life on Mars – Gene Hunt, Sam Tyler
    Red Dwarf – Lister, Arnold Rimmer, Ace Rimmer, Kryten, Cat, Dwayne Dibley, Kochanski, Mr Flibble, Holly
    The SimpsonsHomer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Flanders, Nelson and all the rest
    South Park – Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, Stan and the rest
    Top Gear – if you can go as all three (plus the Stig) you’re on to a winner *new*


  7. I sold it on Ebay

    February 21, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    In the wise words of Avenue Q, I keep selling my possessions on Ebay. I delight in writing the listing details. I mock the standard procedure and infiltrate it with comedy. In light of this I thought I would let you all in on such scrawlings. Of course, if you fancy a pair of sandals, do let me know.

    Black and cork wedge sandals size 4

    What?
    Size 4 wedge sandals with a buckle strap fastening.

    Have they been worn?
    A couple of times indoors, not outside. Served as a great reminder why I am rubbish at wearing heels. I walk like a camel.? As such they are in near perfect condition aside from a random slightly dark mark at the front of one of the shoes, presumably from cuddling up to another pair of equally unworn heels in my wardrobe. I only noticed it today when I was taking photos. Otherwise, the shoes have no wear or tear. For some reason I am unable to include additional photos in the listing, but I have pictures of every aspect of the shoes – just email me via the ‘ask a question’ function and they’re all yours.

    Why are you selling them?
    If the makers of this shoe could see how appaulingly I walk in them, they would surely have me assassinated.

    FAQ
    Q: Were you inspired to buy these through seeing them worn by that girl out of Kyle XY?
    A: Yes. Clearly, she is not me.

    Q: Will you ship overseas?
    A: Only if you ask nicely. The p&p cost will go up, so don’t pay straight away as I’ll only ask you for more money. Email me first, tell me your address, then I’l let you know how much it is.

    Q: Do you accept returns?
    A: No. I am as honest as possible on this thing, so you should be aware of what you’re buying in the first place. If you don’t want it, don’t bid! If you’re a reasonable human being with an ounce of common sense, I look forward to doing business with you.

    Q: Is your sofa from Ikea?
    A: Yes. Yes it is.

    If you have any other questions, ask me. I don’t bite. Except on Mondays.


  8. To dress or not to dress

    February 20, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    I’ve had a number of people* asking me about Rocky Horror lately, all of whom have pretty much started their query with ‘But you have to dress up though, don’t you?’.

    The short answer is ‘no, but you may get into it more if you do’.

    The long answer is this:
    The average audience for Rocky Horror (costume wise) is about 50/50. Of those dressed up, they go across the whole spectrum – die hards in show accurate costumes, gangs in basques and boas, to civvies with lippie. That’s all for the lads and the ladies.

    Speaking of which, chaps, you don’t have to wear make up. I know! Revelationary. There’s Brad, the Narrator and Eddie to choose from. Girls, you don’t have to walk around in a thong! There’s Janet’s lovely pink dress, a Phantom and Columbia to choose from.

    If you want to be a member of the plain clothes force, that’s okay too! You might want to bring something in a bag – sunglasses, a paper hat and a lipstick – in the case you find yourself the only one not dressed up and therefore feeling a bit left out. But I’ve seen the show a number of times in my normal gear. It’s really okay.

    Admittedly, I now have my heart set on creating a stage accurate Phantom costume for April, but until then I’m happy watching it in a corset and jeans for a bit. No need to get my bottom out unnecessarily, but great if everyone else wants to!

    *4 actually
    Lots of piccies in here care of the lovely Timewarp, the official Rocky Horror fan club


  9. Just a jump to the left

    February 17, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    After work yesterday I drove up to Leicester to meet with friends who were watching The Rocky Horror Show. I admit, I was anticipating to be a little bored by the show having seen it so many times. But once it got going, I remembered how beautifully it’s been restaged. The finale is so moving, the message now true having beaten the hen-night-mentality brought on by previous tours. And it may be the techie in me coming out, but the lighting in the last reprise especially was gorgeous.


  10. Ug!

    February 14, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    Having had the pleasure of being Sam and Ilona’s guest this week, I found myself sitting in their glorious old armchair by their equally glorious and oft used fireplace. Upon returning back home, I stared at our never-used* fireplace and wondered how difficult it would really be to get a decent fire going.

    Alex is in a manliness phase at the moment – chopping things, home improvements etc, and so was happy to take on the task of fire-creator. And so, he made fire! With the logs remaining in there, the coal from the garage and a helpful hand from a Cracklelog he had it going a roaring treat. As I used to live in a house with no central heating, reliant on the living room fireplace for warmth, I know that a decent fire takes a lot of tending to. Alex happily took to this challenge, poking and feeding it as required.

    We’re now allowing the coals to give us what’s left of their heat, but the room certainly feels a little more toasty for it.

    *Not used by us – used by the previous owner.