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  1. Christmas dinner

    December 27, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    As we’re expecting our first child in March 2011, we thought we’d treat ourselves this Christmas Day to having dinner cooked by someone else. It’s probably the last chance we’ll get for another 20 years or so. We have a gorgeous old pub around the corner, ‘The Olde Swan’, complete with original land documents framed around the place as well as old pictures of Milton Keynes (yes, it has an actual history) and open fires galore. Anywho, Alex booked Christmas Lunch there last month so off we set through the snow for our noms.

    I say, through the snow – we had originally planned to walk. However, our cat Echo has a habit of thnking she’s a loyal dog when we walk anywhere and tends to follow us. Last time we tried to toddle to the pub we got within 50 metres and she refused to go any further, meaning we had to turn round and go back (within having even sniffed a bevvy) lest she get lost. So it was safer to take the car. Sorry environment!

    Anyway, long story short, brilliant dinner and great to have someone else deal with all the cooking/cleaning up. I had butternut squash veloute to start. Basically, very very thick home made soup. Nom. Then venison for the mains – I’ve not had venison in years! Finally, some sort of strawberry creme brulee thingy that was also delicious. And of course, it was all followed up with nibbles for the rest of the evening – Twiglets, After Eights, all those must haves :o)


  2. Tis the season…

    December 27, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    …to catch up with people and eat lovely food.

    Yep, I’ve been rubbish at blogging of late. I have all the usual excuses – pick the one you prefer.

    On Christmas Eve, we chauffered our friends Dee and Richard for their wedding. A Christmassy spectaular, with ‘Sleigh Ride’ as part of the service and balloon model reindeer on all the tables. It was a brilliant day, fantastic to see everyone and special to have been able to contibute a favour rather than a traditional wedding gift.

    Speaking of favours and gifts, every reception attendee was met with a goody bag. Lovely Christmassy bits in them, but I won’t spoil the secrets within.

    Another great bit of fun for the tables was the introduction of a ‘pass the parcel’ only with instructions on who should open the next layer rather than relying on music, i.e. the person with the smallest shoe size, the person with the shortest hair etc. I think our table pretty much trampled over everyone’s attempts at doing the loudest animal noise.

    Also, the wedding contained probably the best first dance I have ever seen. You’ve watched the videos of people dancing down the aisle, people re-enacting Dirty Dancing, people slow dancing only to break into Mc Hammer’s ‘You Can’t Touch This’. Rich and Dee not only acted out clips from at least 30 songs, they’d managed to construct it so as to tell the story of how they met. Brilliant.

    Rich and Dee’s first dance


  3. Who put the bump in the…

    September 30, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    Continuing with publishing my previously hidden blogs, here’s what I was thinking back on 18th July 2010.

    I had a nosy through the March 2011 expectant parents group photos today. Lots of positive pee sticks and bumps.

    I had a bump last week. It was there – I couldn’t do my jeans up without discomfort. This weekend, it’s pretty much back down to my normal tum, albeit one where I’ve made good us of an all you can eat buffet.

    Part of me wants a tummy to hide from people – not sure why. I think it would be a good confirmation that things are actually happening. The rest of me knows full well that there should be a decent sized tum along soon, and it’ll be there a while!

    So this weekend’s lesson is one of patience.


  4. Pre-bump

    September 27, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    Continuing my transfer of blog posts from the Baby forums to my website, here’s what I was thinking on 17th July 2010.

    Yep, you guessed it – I’m still struggling to believe I’m pregnant.

    I have symptoms – I have that back back/hip things and a bit of Sciatica. Don’t worry, I’ll let my Osteopath know soon. I have a bloated tummy, but sometimes it’s bigger than others. I’m tired and generally in bed by 10pm (it’s always been about 12am as a standard), but other than that – who’s to know?

    So far we’ve told my sister, our bosses, my closest work colleague (who I sit next to and is 7 months pregnant) and a close friend. It feels silly telling more people. In some ways I’m busting to tell the world, in others; if I’m not sure if I really really am, how can I set up that expectation in others?

    Other than that, I have a blood test this Friday, my meeting with the midwife (team) on 11th August (the day after my birthday) and the first scan on 2nd September which seems an age away.

    For now, it’s a case of keeping an eye out for the bump!


  5. When things go bump in the night II

    June 21, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    I first became aware of the ghost at The Lodge when I was about 15. My parents were at the pub for the night and I was relaxing in the house’s original bath tub. The door was open so I would be able to hear my stereo in the next room (this is 1996, pre iPod), so I was looking out into the hall way. Completely alone in the house, I enjoyed my music as I snuggled in the hot water.

    Without warning, I saw her.
    Baring in mind my position in the bath, I couldn’t see past the waist so I have no way of telling what was going on for that part of the body. But from the top, I saw a figure glide past the doorway facing in my direction. It was black with what seemed like a secton of white on the top, a faceless head with hair pulled back off from it. I say head – it was a blur given the speed it moved. But I felt, given the shape of the torso, that it was a woman.

    That was me getting out of the bath, running downstairs to the telephone and calling my mother. “Mum, please come home, there’s someone in the house!” For all I knew, it was an intruder and was no longer alone. My mother, knowing the history of the house and what it was that had interrupted my bathing, convinced me otherwise and suggested I get back to my relaxing soak. Slightly jittery, I returned to the tub, sunk back down and tried to put it out of my head.

    No sooner had I relaxed, she was back. Once again, she glided past the door. I say glided – there were no footsteps heard nor bobbing motion seen. Purely moving swiftly past the doorway, again going from right to left, once more looking in my direction. I’d had enough – there was someone… or something… in the house with me and I no longer wished to be alone. I rang my mother and begged her to come home. She came straight away, it being odd that the ghost should manifest itself so frequently on one occasion.

    So, who was the vision in black?

    A story for another time…


  6. Knock Knock

    May 5, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    I work in one of the oldest parts of the council buildings in Bedford. There are photos (and paintings) of old Mayors lining the corridor walls and you can’t step without hearing creaky floorboard. So you’ll understand why, when in an empty room, without hearing any movement outside of said room, when* I heard the knocking coming from the corner, I became a little skittish.

    Following the speed of the beat of Flowers In The Window by Travis (sorry, it’s the only thing I could liken to the metronome), I heard;
    “knock-knock-knock…knock knock …knock-knock-knock.” Yes, the Morse code for SOS. Heard TWICE. Followed by sporadic knocks since. It’s been quiet for a few minutes now.

    If this message is posted successfully on the internet, you’ll know I survived.

    *Written at 2.45pm


  7. The earth says hello!

    March 21, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    It feels a little bit like Spring is actually here today. It’s odd – there’s a smell in the air of things growing.

    To celebrate this, some teeny tiny daffodils have sprouted up in the window box outside the kitchen. They have a certain ‘Alice in Wonderland angst’ about them. I expect them to sniff me as I go past in the morning…


  8. What?

    March 17, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    Yeah yeah, I know. Sleepy. Not blogging. Will get back to it soon.


  9. Never a day to miss-was

    February 28, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    As many of you know, I am a big fan of silly and slapstick humour. I also treasure the old Saturday morning kids tv programmes, meaning I am still proud of my days on Dick and Dom In Da Bungalow and also explains why I am a moderator on the TiswasOnline forums.
    As part of this, not only am I the Phantom Flan Flinger* at the Tiswas theme nights, but on occasion the moderators all catch up for a bevvy round the corner from the now derelict ATV Centre where Tiswas was originally filmed. Yesterday’s was my first meetup with some of the mods, and also doubley special as surprise guests were in attendance. The original Phantom Flan Flinger, Benny Mills, and his daughter Karen who played the baby Flan Flinger were absolutely lovely. While the boys all got a pie from the Phantom at the end of the day, I got a cuddle which suits me just fine – technically, in flan flinging terms, he’s my grandad.
    So today’s somewhat long winded photo of the day reveals the Flan Flinger’s identity. While he attacks Matt.

    *Now you know my secret identity, you will have to be killed. The ninjas are on the way.


  10. I sold it on Ebay

    February 21, 2010 by Amy Hansford

    In the wise words of Avenue Q, I keep selling my possessions on Ebay. I delight in writing the listing details. I mock the standard procedure and infiltrate it with comedy. In light of this I thought I would let you all in on such scrawlings. Of course, if you fancy a pair of sandals, do let me know.

    Black and cork wedge sandals size 4

    What?
    Size 4 wedge sandals with a buckle strap fastening.

    Have they been worn?
    A couple of times indoors, not outside. Served as a great reminder why I am rubbish at wearing heels. I walk like a camel.? As such they are in near perfect condition aside from a random slightly dark mark at the front of one of the shoes, presumably from cuddling up to another pair of equally unworn heels in my wardrobe. I only noticed it today when I was taking photos. Otherwise, the shoes have no wear or tear. For some reason I am unable to include additional photos in the listing, but I have pictures of every aspect of the shoes – just email me via the ‘ask a question’ function and they’re all yours.

    Why are you selling them?
    If the makers of this shoe could see how appaulingly I walk in them, they would surely have me assassinated.

    FAQ
    Q: Were you inspired to buy these through seeing them worn by that girl out of Kyle XY?
    A: Yes. Clearly, she is not me.

    Q: Will you ship overseas?
    A: Only if you ask nicely. The p&p cost will go up, so don’t pay straight away as I’ll only ask you for more money. Email me first, tell me your address, then I’l let you know how much it is.

    Q: Do you accept returns?
    A: No. I am as honest as possible on this thing, so you should be aware of what you’re buying in the first place. If you don’t want it, don’t bid! If you’re a reasonable human being with an ounce of common sense, I look forward to doing business with you.

    Q: Is your sofa from Ikea?
    A: Yes. Yes it is.

    If you have any other questions, ask me. I don’t bite. Except on Mondays.