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  1. London London London

    April 2, 2009 by Amy Hansford

    A friend visiting London was asking for some advice on places to eat and shops to visit. It’s not the first time, but I always forget what I’ve said. Through sheer laziness of not remembering this nugget of information for every person, I thought I’d put a few notes down here for future reference.

    Dinner:

    TREAT: Ping Pong. These do Dim Sum and are cool without being snooty. There’s a few around including one near the National Theatre on the Southbank.
    PUBBY: The Crooked Surgeon. This is just off Leicester Square (not far from The Prince Charles CInema) and does decent pub grub. It’s not a traditional pub – they’re so hard to find these days – but it’s okay value.
    CURRY: Masala Zone. This is off Covent Garden. They, like most places in London, do a pre-theatre deal. You don’t have to be going to the theatre to use the deals! About a tenner for a very tasty three course meal.
    FUN PUB: Ben Crouch’s Tavern. It’s off Oxford Street. Probably the only place I feel at home in London! Again, good menu, great value and it has a horror theme. Don’t tell your family about the screaming/chainsaw sound track playing in the toilets!
    Plus there’s plenty of Wagamamas around and all the usual chains.

    Shops:

    CAMDEN is all there and complete. The smaller market by the canal’s closed, but everything’s there. Sadly, they ditched the hotch potch covered stalls in all the arches for some glass monstrosity that I’ve not looked into – all glassware and t-shirts – but Punkyfish and the New Rock boot shops are all around as are the goth shops.
    OXFORD STREET is still packed with every shop imaginable.
    Check out FORBIDDEN PLANET for amazing sci-fi and film goodness.
    For your musicals, check out DRESS CIRCLE off Covent Garden. It has everything to do with every musical ever made.


  2. Save Jason!

    March 16, 2009 by Amy Hansford

    Do you ike the Gadget Show?
    Adore the weekly challenges they do?
    Take Part in Jason Bradbury’s flashmob this Friday at 1pm in London to help him win this week’s challenge, and get to appear on the show too!
    Details to follow, or alternatively follow @JasonBradbury on Twitter.

    Date: Friday 20th March 2009
    Time: 1pm
    Location: Somerset House
    Reason: To prove the power of Twitter in getting the word out!

    Jason Bradbury can only use Twitter to organise this, so do please follow him to keep fully updated or check here for more news. However, you, my wonderful lovelies, are free to spread the word any way you wish!


  3. Picturesque

    February 19, 2009 by Amy Hansford

    I’ve had a bit of a falling out with Facebook.

    First he took my apple, then my lunch money, then he said that even if I closed my account he’d still own all my images and information and he’d use it anyway he wanted forever. Then he pulled my hair and ran away.
    The teacher told him off and he took it back, but I don’t trust him anymore. So I’ve pulled off my information and pictures to keep them here instead where I have a little more control of things. He’s in detention until he gets his act together, so I have time to sort things out.

    That means there’s pretty pictures here! Not all of the ones I had on Facebook, but a few for now. Beware – my camera may well travel with me from here on in!


  4. Snow Day

    February 2, 2009 by Amy Hansford

    It’s been lovely seeing everyone’s comments and emails on the snow. For those reading this in retrospect, it’s Monday morning and most of Britain has woken up to 5 inches of snow, a rarity.

    I’m planning on posting some of my favourite comments here for posterity and also to allow you to share too, even if you’re not getting your ‘Snow Day’.

    “Cats sleeping apart from Otter, who is calling me to look at the disaster that has happened in the back garden. I tell him it’s ok, and he cries “no it’s not ok, it’s all out the front too, loooooooooook”, and we have to go look at the front. If I dont look he howls.”
    ~ My sister on her cats ~
    “I have one unhappy cat taking a crap in the house. Ack!”
    ~ A friend on her cat’s reaction ~

    “I feel like writing on a big piece of paper, ‘how many survivors?’ and showing it to the office across the street.”
    ~ via Twitter ~

    “Watching the TfL home page is a bit like a view into some sort of civic apocalypse”
    ~ via Twitter ~


  5. Costumes: Tube stations

    January 5, 2009 by Amy Hansford

    One of the up and coming costume party themes at the moment is that of Tube Stations. As bizarre as it sounds, there are just over 200 tube stations (including DLR) and they bring up all sorts of costume ideas.

    Below are many costume suggestions, less the stations for the DLR as they’re not (as far as I’m aware) included for the purpose of the party for which this list was originally made. Which is a shame as that’s where some of the names get really inventive.

    Angel Islington – angel (did you really need to ask? really?)
    Arsenal – lots of weaponry / an Arsenal fan
    Baker Street – Baker / Sherlock Holmes
    Bank – Banker
    Barbican – Barbie (in a can if you can manage it)
    Barking – Dog
    Barons Court – Panto style baron (i.e. Baron Hardup)
    Becontree – Chrimble tree with a beaconesque light
    Belsize Park – Bellboy
    Blackfriars – Friar all in black / Burned food in a giant frying pan
    Blackhorse Road – Panto horse
    Bond Street – James Bond
    Bounds Green – Green bondage
    Bow Church – Prest/Nun/Monk covered in bows
    Bow Road – Generally lots of bows
    Brent Cross – Brent Spiner from Star Trek looking annoyed
    Burnt Oak – Singed
    Canada Water – Bottle of water / Canadian
    Canary Wharf – Yellow bird
    Chalk Farm – Farm animal drawn on a blackboard
    Chesham – Chess piece
    Cockfosters – Cockeral and can of Fosters
    Colindale – Colin Farrell / Colin McRae (rally driver) / Colin Firth
    Colliers Wood – Shaggy dog
    Covent Garden – Priest/Monk/Nun with a flower
    Dagenham East – Dagger
    Dollis Hill – Dolly
    Ealing Broadway/Fulham Broadway – ANY Broadway show character with a London twist
    Earls Court – Jolly jolly posh. What ho.
    East Ham/West Ham – Pig
    Elephant and Castle – Elephant (and a castle if you can arrange it)
    Euston – astronaut (as in ‘Houston, we have a problem’…)
    Euston Square/Leicester Square – Cube/Square
    Fairlop – Fairground person/freakshow
    Finchley Central/Road – Finch
    Gloucester Road – Dr Foster
    Golders Green – All in gold and green / Goldmember
    Goldhawk Road – Golden hawk/bird
    Grange Hill – Grange Hill uniform / Dinner Lady / School Nurse / Teacher
    Green Park/Greenford – All in green
    Greenwich – Green witch
    Gunnersbury – Lots of guns
    Hammersmith – Giant hammer / MC Hammer
    Hampstead – George Michael
    Hanger Lane – Noose / Pilot / Air Hostess / covered in hangers
    Harrow and Wealdstone – sign: Hello – I have a stone and know how to use it.
    Harrow on the Hill – sign: Hello – I have a stone and I live on a hill.
    Hatton Cross – Ricky Hatton
    Heathrow – Pilot / Air Hostess
    Hendon Central – Police trainee
    High Barnet – Tall wig
    Holland Park – Dutch outfit with clogs
    Hornchurch – Priest/Nun/Monk wearing a hat with horns
    Hyde Park Corner – Jekyll and Hyde
    Kew Gardens/Ruislip Gardens – Botanist / Flower / Weed / Bill and Ben
    Kilburn/Kilburn Park – Singed
    Kings Cross – Angry king
    St Pancreas – operation patient halfway through
    Kingsbury – King fresh from the grave
    Knightsbridge – Knight
    Lambeth North – Pearly queen/king
    Marble Arch – Giant marble
    Mornington Crescent – sleepy pyjama wearer who’s just woken up
    Neasden – cut out knees
    Northolt – RAF person
    Northwood – Lumberjack
    Notting Hill Gate – Hugh Grant / Julia Roberts
    Old Street – OAP
    Oval – Cricketer
    Oxford Circus/Piccadilly Circus – Ringmaster / acrobat / lion tamer
    Paddington – Paddington Bear
    Park Royal/Royal Oak – Royalty
    Parsons Green – Parson/Priest
    Pinner – Giant tack
    Preston Road – Preston and Chantelle
    Queens Park/Queensway – Queen / Freddie Mercury
    Queensbury – dead queen
    Ravenscourt Park – Black bird
    Rayners Lane – Clare Raynor
    Richmond – Someone who’s loaded
    Rickmansworth – Rick Astley / Rick Mayall / Ricky Tomlinson
    Roding Valley – Horse rider / jockey
    Royal Victoria – Queen Victoria
    Russell Square – Russell Crowe / Russell Grant / Russell Brand
    Shepherds Bush – Shepherd and sheep
    Sloane Square – Dr Mark Sloane (Diagnosis Murder)
    Snaresbrook – person caught in a bear trap
    St Pauls – Paul McCartney / Paul Gasgoine / Paul McKenna
    Stanmore – Stan Laurel
    Stockwell – Giant Oxo cube
    Sudbury Hill/Sudbury Town – soap suds
    Surrey Quays – Captain of a boat / sailor
    Swiss cottage – Swiss cuckoo clock inhabitant
    Temple – ANY God (have fun with this one)
    Tooting Broadway – Brass player
    Tower Hill – Beefeater
    Tufnell Park – Phil Tufnell
    Turnpike Lane – Big fish
    Victoria – Victoria Beckham / Queen Victoria /
    Warren Street – Rabbit
    Warwick Avenue – Duffy
    Waterloo – Abba / Napoleon
    Wembley – Footplayer
    West Brompton – Cyclist with a tiny bike
    White City – all in white
    Whitechapel – Priest/Monk/Nun all in white
    Wimbledon – Tennis player


  6. Costumes: Song theme

    December 30, 2008 by Amy Hansford

    I often receive requests for costume ideas to go with a certain theme. I thought it’d be a great idea to publish these ideas on here as a handy guide for friends and unknowns to use when in similar situations.

    Today, costumes for a party where you need to be a song.

    5 Colours In Her Hair ? plait some ribbons into your hair.
    Apologise ? wear a top with ?Sorry!? written on it.
    Ave Maria / Just Like A Prayer / Faith / Hallelujah / Stairway to Heaven / Pray / Praise You – dress as a nun.
    Beggin; – dress as a tramp.
    Black and Gold – come on, seriously. Think about it.
    Blue (Dabadee dabada) / Deeper Shade Of Blue – wear all blue.
    Bohemian Rhapsody ? in a group of four, each wear a black top and choose a member of Queen to dress the head as. When questioned on what song you are, run into a group? with your heads in the right place and start singing.
    Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy – take a kazoo!
    Bright Eyes (Watership Down) – bunny outfit.
    Celebration – party hat, streamers etc.
    Cornflake Girl – dress feminine and make cornflake accessories; bracelets, necklaces, hair clips.
    Could It Be Magic – top hat and magic wand.
    Dancing Queen – drag up with a crown.
    Dare ? write out lots of dares on small paper and pin them to yourself.
    Eye of the Tiger – dress as a tiger or print out a huge tiger’s eye and pin it to your top.
    Fade To Grey ? wear all grey.
    Fairytale of New York ? dress as the Statue of Liberty with fairy wings, tutu and magic wand.
    Ghostbuasters ? what?s that? Any excuse, you say? Why, yes!
    Girls On Film – become the party’s official photographer with your camera kit.
    Good Vibrations – um, well, PM me about that one…
    Grace Kelly – dress as Grace Kelly.
    Heard It Through The Grapevine – make some grape earrings/wig.
    I Can See Clearly Now – wear dark glasses and take them off occasionally.
    Innuendo ? this one is entirely up to you!
    I Put A Spell On You ? dress as a witch or wizard.
    I See You See Me / You’ve Got The Look – oversize glasses. Because normal ones
    aren’t funny enough.
    Lily the Pink – wear all pink.
    Lola – drag up. Look, dragging up is funny, okay?
    Maneater – work your way through a bag of Jelly Babies.
    My Fair Lady – drag up.
    Rabbit – bunny ears
    Rockstar – go as your favourite rocker. See ‘Guitar Hero’ for reference.
    Sexyback – cut the back out of a shirt and write ‘sexy’ on your back.
    Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves – multiple nuns!
    Suffragette City ? dress as a Sufferagette.
    Supersititon – take a rabbit’s foot.
    Tequila – bottle of Tequila with optional sombrero.
    The Devil Went Down To Georgia – dress as the devil.
    The Ketchup Song – nowt wrong with a couple of bottle of ketchup, or even sachets attached to your person.
    Voodoo Child – wear all brown, tie ropes around your ankle and wrist cuffs and waist, draw ‘sewn’ lines across your mouth and eyes. For added amusement, take a small drum.

    I’m sure there are more – feel free to add your own :o)


  7. Mind The Gap

    December 20, 2008 by Amy Hansford

    So Gap, how crap do you want to be? How many tricks do you want to miss? And how much money are you losing out on?

    As many of you know, my body has somewhat inflated in the past month. After field trips to Dorothy Perkins, Peacocks, New Look and H&M, I’ve found that the British sizing industry has failed me. Size 14 tops cling to my pot belly and 16s hang off me like a mattress slung over a tree branch. I’m lost in sizing limbo, reduced to three tops bought stateside and previously baggy jumpers.

    But of course, stateside! KNowing that the ‘M’ tops in Old Navy fit, I thought I’d check them out. Oh, the delights of their multicoloured website! All the tops in the world under one web address. But, what’s that? No international shipping? Oh dear.

    Aha, but then I spied that Old Navy is part of a chain. Banana Republic is also owned by their head brand name – Gap. A superb realisation – perhaps Gap will have clothes that fit? On to gap.co.uk. A banking site. Hmm. A Google search shows no UK or even European Gap stores. The only sign of Gap-like life is someone asking the very same thing on Google Answers – where can I find the UK Gap store online? The answer: there isn’t one. My thoughts deflated, I realised my only hope of getting another top and minimising my washing frequency was to risk the Christmas shoppers and go to a Gap store. No thanks. While I only have three tops that fit, there’s two formal gowns and three work shirts I can fit comfortably.

    So if you see someone wandering Crouch End in trainers and an NYC jumper thrown over a black evening dress, it’s not your local bag lady.
    Just me.

    All images and text property of Amy Wake 2009 unless otherwise stated. Please do not use these pictures without my permission. But you?re welcome to ask.


  8. Toronto round up

    November 21, 2008 by Amy Hansford

    There are many wonderful things about Toronto, not least of which is the amazing undergound shopping network, meaning no-one really needs to be outside in the sub zero temperatures for more than five minutes.

    Also, the fact they darn well just get things done. Yesterday morning, the top news story was that of a house in which four bodies were found. By this afternoon, they’d revealed it was actually three murders and a suicide, their names, that they were a lovely family caught up in the economic strain and related issues and that it was all pretty much sorted. It did not involve a three month long investigation like we normally have for such things, or a Facebook group of people saying ‘boo, isn’t this bad – having an online theoretical group of people who agree with this will make a difference and bring them all back to life’, or ministers commenting on whether or not it should have beenb allowed to happen.

    People are nice. Just because it’s natural to be nice, and say hello when you pass each other, and say thankyou.

    The cost of living is lower, so people can enjoy things more, so they are happier.

    There are no chavs. There are only the occasional gang of emos, which are of course very easy to deal with as they’re not interested in cutting you, only themselves.

    Adverts for Dr Who are hilarious.
    Deep voiced American: ‘The universe is at stake…’
    David Tennent: ‘It’s alright – I’m the Doctor!’ [in a Michael Caine-esque voice.]

    They can heat things properly, so you don’t feel like a room is being deliberately overheated – it’s just right.

    It’s clean. This is because the people aren’t idiots and know how to use a bin. As bizarre and difficult a concept as it sounds, people actually put wrappers in their pockets until they find a bin rather than dropping it on the ground. I know – unbelievable.

    Toronto is what a city should be – it works!

    Tomorrow … Vancouver, and the search for cupcakes.


  9. It’s ok.

    November 11, 2008 by Amy Hansford

    Occasionally I say ground breaking things. I know, incredible as it may seem. But I?m not talking Einstein levels. Just something that I?ll say in a conversation that makes *me* review how I?m doing things, not anyone else. Little Amy revelations, if you will.

    I had such a moment this weekend.

    While chatting with a friend I don?t see nearly enough, I said the following;

    ?You know, I?ve been through the worst thing in my life I could ever go through. Everything else is manageable.?

    ?

    You only get one mum, truly, and when you lose her it is absolutely devastating. But I?m still here and actually, I?m ok. Comparatively, a 5 hour journey home becoming a 9/10 hour one is actually quite doable. As is getting caught in the rain on my way somewhere, wearing a pair of trousers that are a bit too tight and only realizing this upon arrival at work, missing a tv programme ? it?s all doable.

    ?

    I?m not suggesting the world deliberately go out of its way to throw angst at me, but I do feel a little more confident that I can cope with whatever metaphorical banana skin should appear next beneath my feet.


  10. Puzzling

    October 24, 2008 by Amy Hansford

    I’ve always liked puzzles. I started off with wordsearches as a youngen, loving those kids puzzle books with everything in and the free pen. Graduated on to Logic puzzles thanks to a friend of my brother who would pop me on her lap as I watched her complete them, fascinated. Then like many people, onto Sudoku, happily ending up most recently at Hanjie which I’ve been doing for a couple of years now. This involves numbers and colouring in – perfect for me!

    WHSmith, the only stockists of the Hanjie book*, rarely have them in stock. Bored of going in to Wood Green for nowt, I thought I’d go the whole hog and subscribe. And I got my first copy delivered to my door today.

    However, I was a little perturbed by the advertising enclosed. For some unexplained reason, it made me feel a little old before my time;

    • 12 Chances to WIN-A-FREE Craftmatic III Adjustable Bed!
    • Your WILL is a vitally important document
    • Take a look at the benefits of the Age Concern Guarenteed Funeral Plan
    • And don’t forget the advert for a reversible, yes, reversible cape. ‘Elegant wear regardless of the weather!

    Right, I’m off for a sponge bath…

    *Which was previously called Tsunami but funnily enough they rebranded a year or two ago.