Mind The Gap

So Gap, how crap do you want to be? How many tricks do you want to miss? And how much money are you losing out on?

As many of you know, my body has somewhat inflated in the past month. After field trips to Dorothy Perkins, Peacocks, New Look and H&M, I’ve found that the British sizing industry has failed me. Size 14 tops cling to my pot belly and 16s hang off me like a mattress slung over a tree branch. I’m lost in sizing limbo, reduced to three tops bought stateside and previously baggy jumpers.

But of course, stateside! KNowing that the ‘M’ tops in Old Navy fit, I thought I’d check them out. Oh, the delights of their multicoloured website! All the tops in the world under one web address. But, what’s that? No international shipping? Oh dear.

Aha, but then I spied that Old Navy is part of a chain. Banana Republic is also owned by their head brand name – Gap. A superb realisation – perhaps Gap will have clothes that fit? On to gap.co.uk. A banking site. Hmm. A Google search shows no UK or even European Gap stores. The only sign of Gap-like life is someone asking the very same thing on Google Answers – where can I find the UK Gap store online? The answer: there isn’t one. My thoughts deflated, I realised my only hope of getting another top and minimising my washing frequency was to risk the Christmas shoppers and go to a Gap store. No thanks. While I only have three tops that fit, there’s two formal gowns and three work shirts I can fit comfortably.

So if you see someone wandering Crouch End in trainers and an NYC jumper thrown over a black evening dress, it’s not your local bag lady.
Just me.

All images and text property of Amy Wake 2009 unless otherwise stated. Please do not use these pictures without my permission. But you?re welcome to ask.